Difference of Opinion

Me: "Ew look at my nails they are so gross."
Robyn: "They look like a prostitute's."
Me: "My mom sometimes says, 'your nails look like a homeless person's,' and I say, 'Mom, homeless people don't have chipping manicures.'"
Robyn: "No, they look like a prostitute's nails. Like you've handled a lot of money... and a lot of dick."

Reasonable Doubt

Robyn: "Do you want some of my baklava?"
Me: "No thanks, I don't really like nuts."
Robyn: [raises eyebrows as if taken by surprise]

Variations on a Popular Song

Robyn, R&B style: "Apple bottom green JEANS! Eating fruit in the tub.."

There is No Appropriate Title for This

Robyn: "mah butt hurts."
Sandra: "It's from too much farting."
Robyn in a Paula Deen accent: "It's NOT FROM FARTIN YA'LL PEE N POOP YA'll!!!!!!!!!!"

In Psychology it's Called a Breakthrough

Me: "I used to have this lip gloss when I was little that was bubble gum flavored and I used to just eat it."
Robyn: "That explains a lot."

Corporate Gifts

Robyn made me this baby cupcake and his name is Cuppy: